Friday, February 24, 2012

Unequal marriage

When I got married 30 years ago, it was called a mixed marriage because my sweetheart and I had different religions. My heart sank when I heard people say that, as though it was the most salient aspect of our marriage. I don't think I ever asked anyone not to say that. But it felt as though mine was labeled a second-class marriage.

I forgot about it for years. It's no wonder with jobs and children and relocation and mortgage payments and all the usual accoutrements of middle-class life. A few months ago I remembered. Somehow, I hadn't had a mixed marriage, I'd just had a marriage.

Now I conscientiously avoid the terms "mixed marriage," "interracial marriage," "second marriage," or "gay marriage." I think people would like their marriages respected as full-fledged marriage, not hyphenated less-than-desirable marriages. I love being married, and I want others to have the same chance at happiness.

An infectious video of an Indian man singing about his joy at getting married to a woman he loves (a "love marriage") rather than an arranged marriage. Don't miss it.

"It's very dear to me the issue of gay marriage, or, as I like to call it: "marriage" You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn't gay park it." -- Liz Feldman on a famous sign

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