Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Letter to the Iranians

Dear Ayatollahs,

We really hate this president. We also understand that you don't like any Americans. So maybe you're willing to help us punk him.

Even though you're currently negotiating with this punk-ass president, you can help us and make him really angry by ending these negotiations with no deal at all. That would be great if you'd do that for us, and it would really embarrass the president badly. As Iranians, you have an illustrious history of punking American presidents, just like you punked President Carter, another piece of scum.

Of course, we have to disclose that we don't personally like you guys or approve of you, but we hate the president even more, which is why we ask you to punk him.

Thank you for taking this request under consideration, and thank you in advance for spiking these negotiations. We're pretty sure you're not missing anything by passing up a deal, so there's no cost to you for playing this great trick on punk-ass president Nobama.


47 Republican Senators (all the real conservatives in the Senate)

Another proud moment in American letters
Image: wikipedia.org

1 comment:

Dangerous said...

P.S. By not reaching a deal you will help us get the Republican president we want who will almost certainly start a war with you. If that's something you secretly want, we'll keep that on the down-low. ;)