Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Sincerely against same-sex marriage

I've been lucky to have had diversity in friends during my life. And by 'friends,' I don't mean casual acquaintances of a few months or years, but people that I will never forget. Several of these friends have been devout born-again Christians.

I'm not in touch with them now, but I wonder what our conversations about marriage equality would be like. Many fundamentalists follow the dictum "Love the sinner, hate the sin." They may have immense caring and compassion for gay individuals, but they don't accept same-sex relationships as good. (Others are less scrupulous about loving the sinner, and their entire reaction is tilted toward hate.)

I'm not going to discuss the biblical justifications for being for or against same-sex relationships. These arguments have thoroughly hashed out, so I'm sure everyone is familiar with them. No repetition here is required.

When I think of some fundamentalists I've known, I can't predict which doctrine they would follow--against homosexuality per tradition or accepting of homosexuality in God's loving nature. I've certainly seen some friends torn between the harsh judgments of their religious and the love that is also preached and practiced there.

For example, one coworker and I shared many stories about our faiths and families. We also shared a strong work ethic and a serious, responsible attitude to life, so we built up a lot of mutual respect. She knew that I wasn't a saved Christian and didn't believe in an afterlife. I still remember the tears in her eyes as I departed from that job and from her life as an unsaved soul. Her final wish was that someday I would believe in heaven. Not because I was just another soul that was lost, but because I was someone about whom she cared deeply.

So I won't condemn this kind of Christian for being an anti-gay bigot because in her heart there wasn't bigotry or hatred. That doesn't mean I give this kind of Christian a pass. I have pushed some of my born-again friends very hard on abortion, and even harder on doctrine of eternal damnation.

I want them to question some of the received dogmas of their religion, but in doing so, I'm asking for a lot. In effect, I'm saying "Because I'm someone you respect and like, I want you to question the religions ideals that you've held for decades." What right do I have to do that? Only the right of the free exchange of ideas between people who love and respect one another. So I can't condemn them if they decide to stick to the traditional interpretation of the Bible, because I've learned to love and respect them even though we disagree on some fundamental questions. For anyone who'll take the time to really listen, really think, and most of all, really care, I have immense respect.

I don't expect everyone to feel the same way. I won't tell my gay friends to give these Christians a pass. But regarding the ones I've gotten to know well, maybe I'd explain how I can still be friends with anti-marriage-equality advocates. It's something like 'Love the sinner, hate the sin.' On many days I'm the sinner, or the person who's wrong, so I remember not to hate.

Image:  pinterest.com

  1. Love the sinner: origin of the phrase.
  2. Love the sinner and deny communion.
  3. Love the sinner, rapture the sinner.
  4. Love the sinner irks this pastor.
  5. Love the sinner or lose the sinner (long).
  6. Love the sinner and don't stand in the way.


Dangerous said...

Of course you can still be friends with people who don't agree with you, and I'm sure you argue with them on those points with decorum.

I actually pity them for that position since they feel the need to insist that the state reflect their bias when the people are living as spouses whether they like it or not. Further, they would never accept equally valid denials for their marriage, or even allowing the public to decide whether it counts or not at the time or later. To be able to hold such contradictory opinions and continually fight the cognitive dissonance must be very unpleasant.

ModeratePoli said...


"To be able to hold such contradictory opinions and continually fight the cognitive dissonance must be very unpleasant."

HAHAHA. We both know that people are eminently good at this. It is habitually in most people, if not all people.

The taboo against homosexuality is very strong, so it takes a lot to overcome it, especially for people who also have religious cover for the taboo.

Maybe part of my post wasn't strong enough. I wouldn't substitute my judgment for that of my friends. So there is more than decorum involved. It's also humility that we are all mistaken sometimes.

Anonymous said...

FOR GAYS ONLY: Jesus predicted that just before His return as Judge, there will be a strange, dangerous fad - a spontaneous global steamroller notable for its speed, violence, and impudent in-your-face openness. In Luke 17 He called this worldwide craze the repeat of the "days of Lot" (see Genesis 19). By fulfilling this worldwide mania that's secretly coordinated by unseen spirit beings, gays are really hurrying up Christ's return and making the Bible even more believable!
They've actually invented strange architecture: closets opening not on to bedrooms but on to Main Streets where kids can see naked men having sex in "Madam" Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco Brothel District. We wonder how soon S.F.'s underground saint - San Andreas - will get a 10-point jolt out of what goes on over his head (see the dire prediction about cities in Revelation 16:19, and Google "Obama Supports Public Depravity").
What's really scary is the "reprobate mind" phrase in Romans 1:28. A person can sear his conscience so much that God finally turns him over to S, the universal evil leader whose unseen agents can give a "possessed" person super-human strength that many cops with tasers have trouble subduing!
Remember, gays don't have to stay bound to their slavery. Their emancipation is found in a 5-letter name starting with J - no, not James or Julia. As soon as they can find out the all-powerful J name, gays will really start living!

/ Saw above on web. Zora /

ModeratePoli said...


That position obvious doesn't have much compassion (love the sinner) in it. Though I believe in God, I certainly don't believe that God is like that.

I also have to point out that the writings in the Bible show that the authors don't have strong predictive power. After all, Jesus said that the Kingdom of God would occur within the lifetime of some of the people who heard him. It didn't. So I give no credence to the predictions in the bible.

Although this type of writing about gays is standard for many Christians, it's not universal. I don't retract what I wrote--some Christians are extremely caring and not bigoted towards ANYONE, but still believe that homosexuality is a sin. I have met such people, I know they exist. You too can find them if you look. Their approach to difficult issues is not negated just because many Christians are very harsh.